Sample Relationship Style Survey

This sample survey gives you a preview of what the LifeTour survey is all about. A survey has no right or wrong answers. It just gives you a starting point to gain insight into who you are and what is important in your life. Please remember that this is a "sample" survey to just have fun with.

What is important in your life at the present time points to how you relate to significant others or your "Relationship Style." For each of the 16 boxes of questions, click one of the three answers that best describes what is important to you. Choose the answer that is most representative of your present situation, not what you would like it to be. If two sentences are equally applicable, choose the one that is a priority in your behavior today.

After answering the question, click the "Submit Answers" button. A short description is given for your Relationship Style.

In a relationship its important for me to:

be in control of the relationship. have and raise a family. feel whole in mind, body, and spirit.		have and keep my self esteem. be in control of the relationship. be equal and feel liberated.
be competent and confident. be myself at all times. in control of the relationship.		play and have fun. be faithful to myself no matter what may happen. be in control of the relationship.
experience joy with all the senses of my body. have and raise a family. feel whole in mind, body, and spirit.		have and keep my self esteem. experience joy with all the senses of my body. be equal and feel liberated.
be myself at all times. be competent and confident. experience joy with all the senses of my body.		experience joy with all the senses of my body. play and have fun. be faithful to myself no matter what may happen.
provide for the basic needs of living. have and keep my self esteem. be equal and feel liberated.		have and raise a family. provide for the basic needs of living. feel whole in mind, body, and spirit.
play and have fun. be faithful to myself no matter what. provide for the basic needs of living.		provide for the basic needs of living. be competent and confident. be myself at all times.
feel secure. have and keep my self esteem. be equal and feel liberated.		have and raise a family. feel secure. feel whole in mind, body, and spirit.
be faithful to myself no matter what. play and have fun. feel secure.		feel secure. be myself at all times. be competent and confident.

Relationship Style Descriptions

DOMINATING
As a person with a dominating relationship style, you have a tendency to want to make decisions on your own without consulting your partner. You are often dictatorial in dealings with people in order to survive in what you perceive as a hostile world.

You have a tendency to be a dominating partner who is ultimately responsible for the decisions in the relationship. Decisions are made based on your survival needs and what the situation demands not personal emotions. Your partner's loyalty to you is very important, and it is necessary for that partner to follow "your" rules.

Intimacy is based on your need for security through physical attraction and sensory pleasure. You may use sex to control the power between you and your partner. Skills of survival and providing for your basic needs are what you need at this time to mature to a more caring relationship style.

CARING
Your style of relationship is characterized by the tendency for you to be maternal or paternal in dealings with your partner, and people in general. Your are caring to your partner, but it is like a parent caring for a child. Although you listen carefully to your partner, you make decisions based on your own criteria. If your partner is also caring in relationship style, he or she will be loyal and follow the rules you set down.

Growth from this style requires the ability to affirm and value people. When making decisions they should be based on fairness and the demands of the situation.

Intimacy is based on your desire to feel you have worth as a person. Your self worth is affirmed through your sense of belonging. In this relationship style, you have a tendency to dominate your partner in sexual matters and use sex as a sign of your caring. However, sex may be used to manipulate your partner and show your power and control to feel your own self worth.

COOPERATING
As a person with a cooperating relationship style, you have a tendency to view a relationship as an institution. Both you and your partner tend to give up self in order for the relationship to survive. Decisions are made with each partner compromising part of self to find common ground.

You are learning new interpersonal skills, which elicit cooperation rather than isolation. You listen to and affirm your partner expecting your partner to do the same for you. You may have a tendency to be over-competitive is such things as sports, work, and time spent with family members. If loyalty to the relationship is broken, alienation may occur.

Intimacy is based on your need to belong through the approval of your partner as you strive to succeed in "the dream partnership." You my be sacrificing "Self" for the good of the relationship. Social acceptance as "the perfect couple" is important to you.

Pure physical sex is less important then before and is more of a task rather then a need. Lovemaking is beginning to evolve into an expression of your emotion and deep inner meaning that you want to communicate to your partner.

ACCOMMODATING
This style of relationship should be regarded as an interim style because you may be caught between adherence to what the "dream relationship" demands and a new view of yourself, your human dignity and worth. You and your partner facilitate each other in the relationship. Co-dependent behavior is self-serving in that caring for your partner is really caring for yourself.

Decisions are difficult and seldom reached. In this relationship style each partner makes their own decisions with little or no precise actions being taken. Relationship is viewed as a task that needs to fit into everyday life. For example, you think in terms of "how can we be successful in both work and relationship?"

Intimacy is based on a more complex interaction between self and partner. Mind and spirit are becoming as important or more important
than physical sex in your relationship. Your desire to have a "perfect relationship" is being replaced with wanting the relationship uniqueness to help you and your partner be your best.

To develop the relationship beyond this style, you and your partner need to integrate the skills in the personal dimensions of couple dynamics and human relations. The consequence of this integration can lead to a more dignified and life-giving view of your relationship.

SHARING
A sharing relationship style is one in which each partner complements the other and shares in the life of the other. You view your relationship as one in which "we complement and bring out the best of each other!". Partners creatively and collaboratively make decisions by supporting each other's individual growth as a means to a more meaningful relationship.

Intimacy is based on a balance between mind, body, and spirit. Revealing your self, even your dark side, to your partner is important for deep relationship meaning. You have the freedom to share with total acceptance of your limitations and strengths. Emphasis is on personal growth and information gathering as a way to assess and improve the relationship to meet you and your partner's desire for deeper meaning in life.

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